The Stories We Tell Ourselves

It's been a while, almost a year to be exact. Funny, using almost and exact in the same sentence!

I have been meaning to write for a while. I mostly wrote last year about my tryst with emotions, perspectives, and rebuilding my worldview. When things happen and when it distorts how you view the world, something breaks inside you, the stories you tell yourself become a lie or more like a myth, and it sort of leaves you in this little void for a while.

When you are in this void, you sort of think, "Shit, this sucks!" And you question everything. This is the time you see all the unfairness in this world, this is the time you understand things are not so black and white. The clear lens becomes tinted. Now, when you are inside the void, this seems like a pretty bad thing, but this is probably one of the most transformative experiences you would go through in life. Because it sort of gives you a chance to retell the stories.

And who doesn't love stories?

Don't you remember the time you used to ask your mom to narrate a story while you were about to sleep or during power outages in the evenings? Some stories had hidden nuggets of wisdom within them, some were absurd because they were made up on the spot. As a child, we loved this absurdity because absurd is interesting; absurdity breaks the patterns we set ourselves into, and sometimes absurdity uncovers the truth.

If the void is like a punch to the gut, absurdity is the river we fall into.

We swim in this river, sometimes it's turbulent, sometimes it's calm, sometimes it's even black! Imagine that! The ways of the river are so strange, it makes you question if it's all maya. But somehow you endure this madness, and you wash up on the shore.

Your vision is a bit blurry, but you see a kid standing on the shore. You can't believe what you are seeing because it's a face you used to see in the mirror long back.

You wonder, with the wisdom you gained from fighting the river, you could save the kid. Just as you are about to speak, the kid retells you a story. The story you were about to tell!

Something tells you this won't be the last time you encounter the river and the kid.