Eye Openers!

There is always something about Septembers. Whether it’s Onam, my sister’s and mother’s birthday or something, there is.

As a child, after getting introduced to computer games, especially the likes of Hitman, GTA, etc., I used to feel, isn’t life like a game? In this particular mission, I have been given my body's avatar and the ability to control it. I used to wonder, how am I able to control myself and not others? I mean, I can raise my arm, but I can’t make others raise their arms. Why was that? And I also used to think, what if I had a different character? I can’t exactly pinpoint what age it was, but it was somewhere between 5th and 10th standard.

I think it was innocent of me as a child to ask why I was able to control myself and not others. When I think back, I was confused about human consciousness, and computer games sort of acted like an abstraction that catalyzed those thoughts. But I still wonder, where does consciousness begin and where does it end?

Of course, evolution, genetics, and neurobiology does a lot of answers to these questions. It’s very strange and a bit scary that we don't understand our own selves fully, but humans as a race have come so far.

Circling back to September, my dad met with a small accident, and it taught me a lot about the value of relationships, having people on your side, and what matters the most. To be honest, I don't have a great relationship with my father; it’s deeply strained. But learning that he met with an accident and had a head injury made me really scared. I called my cousin, and he came to the hospital. It felt reassuring that someone was on my side. I am guilty of not answering phone calls, and for a long time I thought it wasn't a bad thing. But then I thought, what if he didn’t pick my call?

Sometimes you get chances to do right by people, even if you have wronged them in the past. Take those chances. Everyone makes mistakes, but if life gives you a chance to correct them, embrace it.

I feel our construction of our own reality is like a lens. When we are born, it’s clear, transparent, pristine. But as we grow, it becomes tainted; the color of the lens changes, the lens becomes scratched. So if we view our reality through a lens that is imperfect, is our reality the truth? If it’s not the truth, then what is? And do we ever get a chance to see it?